Football jargon that needs to go.

They've already started popping up again as the season nears - the cliches and colourless jargon that coaches and players trot out when talking about the game. It's time to pinpoint the ones we never want to hear again.

I'm kicking off with "execute". I don't ever want to hear another player or coach talk about 'not executing properly'. If you mean you didn't play well, or didn't kick well, or didn't play to instructions just say it. Just don't try to create a language that's unique to those inside the game, because it's pretentious and annoying. That feels better.

Nice work 'Flaggy', this might really catch on.


Could this become the archetypal mindless football sentence for the future ?

Yeah no yeah no yeah no, we’re not executing correctly, but to the boys credit, we’re going back to basics,
just one week at a time, to review our performance, after a hard week on the track, to identify problems,
that we’ve all discussed, so we can look forward to next week, and have a real dip and a red hot go,
in the context of the season.

Let’s all add our hated favourites !

''moving forward''

"Just taking it one week at a time"

"the boys will regroup for this week on the track"

"go back to basics and stick to a structure"

"as a club we know what is required of us"

"

How about "Hard at it". One might reasonably ask, 'Hard at what?' Some of the possibilities don't bear thinking about

"didn't come to play"

....... WHY NOT????!!!!!!


And if I hear the word "aggressiveness" one more time I'll scream. The word is "aggression".

Sabre wrote:Yeah no yeah no yeah no

Correction ... that's "yeah, nah"

The umpires were on the blind side.

"Step up".

If one player cops a suspension or an injury you can be guaranteed that "it provides an opportunity for someone else to step up."

"you know....we....you know....will do what ...you know ...required ... You know"

You know .....NO !!! I don't know ... That's why you are talking to tell me!!!!!

tanking

"The proof is in the pudding"...this is one that is being used more and more. I am getting out my rifle.
"It all goes well".
"You can be rest assured".
I have now got ourt my rifle.

structures............

the journey..........

"Rotates through the midfield:...what is he, a drill?
"The fat side"...spare me.

chief wrote:"The proof is in the pudding"...this is one that is being used more and more. I am getting out my rifle.
"It all goes well".
"You can be rest assured".I have now got ourt my rifle.

One of KG's sayings, however as Blakey always points out, it should be just "rest assured".

On topic, I can't stand "Secondary Bounce" and "Underground Handball".

chief wrote:
"The fat side"...spare me.

Stolen from basketball, as are a lot of modern sayings which are ripped off American sports, that's possibly why we dislike them so much, because some of them bare no revelence to Aussie Rules whatsoever.

I'm still coming to terms with "off-ence" and "de-fence". If we have defenders, why don't we have offenders?

Adelaide Hawk wrote:

chief wrote:
"The fat side"...spare me.

Stolen from basketball, as are a lot of modern sayings which are ripped off American sports, that's possibly why we dislike them so much, because some of them bare no revelence to Aussie Rules whatsoever.

I'm still coming to terms with "off-ence" and "de-fence". If we have defenders, why don't we have offenders?

Reminds me of an old joke (Like most of my jokes) about Idi Amin, a particularly bloodthirsty military despot who ruled Uganda during the 1970's. (And wiped out a sizable percentage of the population in the process. Not a subject for joking at all really )
Interviewer - "Tell me General Amin, what are you doing about defence." Amin - "Ah, de man with de hammer and de nails is coming to fix it tomorrow."

Adelaide Hawk wrote:

chief wrote:
"The fat side"...spare me.

Stolen from basketball, as are a lot of modern sayings which are ripped off American sports, that's possibly why we dislike them so much, because some of them bare no revelence to Aussie Rules whatsoever.

I'm still coming to terms with "off-ence" and "de-fence". If we have defenders, why don't we have offenders?

Agreed, I think "step up" is an abbreviated form of "step up to the plate", from baseball. And 'turnover' is from basketball I think. It's the cultural cringe I think, not believing that our own unique terminology is good enough or interesting enough.

"I'd like him alongside me in the trenches".

At the very least I find this offensive to all diggers, equating the "bravery" of being on a footy field to the horrors of war.

Crispy wrote:"I'd like him alongside me in the trenches".

At the very least I find this offensive to all diggers, equating the "bravery" of being on a footy field to the horrors of war.

Totally agree with that one. Also the way the start of the ANZAC day match in the AFL with the introduction with war footage intwinded with football footage....bloody sickening to compare footy players to war heroes!!!

"That does not represent what the [insert name] Football Club brand is all about"

Gee I hate it when someone like Steven Trigg uses the word brand in relation to a footy club.

Southee wrote:

Crispy wrote:"I'd like him alongside me in the trenches".

At the very least I find this offensive to all diggers, equating the "bravery" of being on a footy field to the horrors of war.

Totally agree with that one. Also the way the start of the ANZAC day match in the AFL with the introduction with war footage intwinded with football footage....bloody sickening to compare footy players to war heroes!!!

Yep, never liked any comparison to blokes running around playing a game they love for (in many cases) a lot of money with men who fought and gave their lives for their country.

Also hate hearing players referred to as 'cattle' or during interviews using a player's nickname instead of their name (fortunately I never heard Chambers nickname used!)

Let's identify some of the main culprits over the years with their monotonous repitition:

Doug Hawkins when running the boundary for Channel 7 endorsing Ian Robertson's comments upstairs:
Spot on Robbo"

Dennis Cometti anticipating an umpire's call:
"Nothing doing"

The late David Hookes whenever he agreed with a caller:
"Dead right"

KG Cunningham:
"Strike me pink" or "Unbelievable"

Graeme Cornes individualizing on any of the following,namely Andrew Symonds,Ben Cousins,Brendan Fevolla or John Kosmina after he nearly strangled Kevin Muskat(the list is endless):
"I want to know what he has done wrong"

Stphen Rowe similarly:
"He's a ripper of a bloke"(even if he's never met him) or "He's been hung out to dry"

John Reid when with the Adelaide Crows:
"Yeah no,yeah no,yeah no"

And how many times does a coach in particular whenever discussing his team(Mark Williams was a prime example) pause along the way and throw in:
"There's no doubt about that"

On the other hand, here are some terminologies I'd like to see return to football:

Half Forward
Wing
Rover
Centre